How to know if you’re ready to get married
So you met a great guy and you’ve been dating for a while and things seem to be going pretty well for you two. It’s all fun and games and romance and you seem like a perfect fit. Then one day, he plans some really romantic date and, out of the blue, pops the question. How do you know if you’re ready to get married? Here’s a little unsolicited advice, based on my humble life experience and observation of the world around me.
Do you know if you’re ready to get married? Everything that is not a YES!!! is a sugar-coated NO
I know this may sound extreme, but hear me out. When a man is husband material you just know it -better said: you feel it. Even if you’re not an impulsive person, this whole wedding/marriage/relationships game is all about feelings -and feelings are either there or they aren’t.
And I’m not talking about love. As confusing as it may sound, loving someone is not enough to marry him. You can be totally in love but feel, deep down, that this person is a boyfriend more than a husband and just keep on dating forever. So the “feeling” I’m talking about is not love, but the desire to marry him.
If your first instinct is to say yes, but you contain yourself, because you don’t want to rush things, then congratulations: you’ll get engaged.
But if your first thought is “I’m not sure”, or don’t know if you’re ready to get married, better not go there. Because here’s the thing: everything that is not a straight up yes will end up being a sugar-coated no.
Want to know if you’re ready to get married? Your possible answers to his proposal
Red flags that should let you know you might not ready to take the plunge, or that he isn’t right for you:
- I’ll think about it
- I need time
- I need space
- It’s not a good moment
- Let me consult it with my parents/bestfriend/pillow
- It’s too soon
- I wasn’t expecting that
- We should take a break and assess our feelings
- I’m too young
- I’m still at school
- I need to focus on my career
If any of these came to your head, you’re probably not ready for such a big commitment, or at least not with him. And that’s OK, as long as you don’t fall in any of these usual traps that often happen when a proposal has been unexpectedly dropped:
Things that may mislead you to say yes even though you’re not really convinced
You’re not really 100% convinced that you want to marry him but, since you’re taking time to think about it and do your pros and cons list, you may have come up with the following conclusions:
- You don’t want to hurt his feelings
- It seems like the natural next step
- It’s expected of you
- Your family or friends are pressuring you to get married
- You’re getting old
- All your friends are married
- You want to have a child soon and don’t want to be a single mom
- You don’t want to spoil a nice relationship or risk a break up if you say no
- It’s convenient (in terms of money, social status, visa, whatever)
- He is the best you can do
- If you wait you’ll end up with nothing
- You want to be a bride and have a wedding
- Let’s give it a try, and you can always divorce if it doesn’t work
Trust your gut more than your mind
Love is a tricky thing and the battle between brain and heart will forever be frustrating. We modern women want to have it all: career, family and great avdentures, but sometimes you need to choose and let go of one to have the other.
The thing is, when something is really and truly important to you, you’ll know what you want. And usually, when we don’t know what we want it’s because the options we have to choose from are not that appealing.
You should marry someone that makes you want to say yes right away with excitement. If you have doubts, of any kind, it’s probably best to just wait a little longer.
Honestly, speaking from my own experience, as someone who has been engaged twice and had the most miserable wedding call-off the first time, and the happiest marriage the second time, when you truly want to marry a guy, you’ll know it long before he proposes.
Are you ready to say yes?
If you’re the lucky girl who already found her true soulmate, and already know if you’re ready to get married, then congratulations! And make sure to invite everyone you know -and do it in style! Please visit my wedding page and let me be a part of your happiness with gorgeous hand-made unique stationery to set your day apart.